A matured man has a secret sexual desire to a young Jamaican boy until his desires came true

I'm one of those persons where if I fancy a guy that I know casually,

I find it difficult to say much in their company or even look at them for too long.

You would think that a man like me in my 50s now would have overcome such insecurities,

but these days it's got worse. What's even more awkward is I am in Jamaica mostly these days,

surrounded by thingly clad male company, and on few occasions I get on dizzy street